Songs about WIFI (at least in my head)

April 18, 2006 - 1 Comment

One of the things that I love about being product manager is when I think about my product, and then adapt it to the world around me. On a recent trip to Canada I had a planetary alignment situation where I was changing every song that I heard to be about WIFI. Following are some bad examples of some of the songs. Note that there is a slight slant to Canada. You can also probably figure out that I was a teenager in the 80s.Official road warrior wireless songs from my most recent trip to Canada (as interpreted by Matt Glenn) (sung to Ray Charles’ ‘Hit the road Jack’):Hit the road mattAnd don’t you come back No more no more no more no moreHit the road mattAnd don’t you come back no more-.(Sung to Dire Straights ‘I want my MTV’)I want myI want myI want my hotspots free -.(Sung to The Knack’s”My Sharona”)Oh a little war drivinSome war drivinOr do I have to take out My Airsnorter (Sung to Loverboy’s”Working for the Weekend” )Everybody’s surfing up this weekendEverybody goes to a StarbucksOooh yaaaaa yaaaaaaEverybody’s client needs some tweekingHere come Centrino’s second chanceYaaaaaaahhhhhYou wanna borrow my lap-top?You better get me a coffee cupYou want to work for Cisco?Then you’ll work with Intel’s Centrino!- (Sung to Allanis Morrisette’s ‘Thank-you’ )Thank you LWAPPThank you CalhounThank you Air-o-netThank you ChambersThank you BloggersThank you WEP ClientYEEEAHAHHHH –(Sung to the Corey Hart’s ‘Sunglasses at Night’)I surf with wireless at nightSo I canSo I canConnect while I’m in my garage I surf with wireless at nightSo I canSo I canTrade stocks in my garageYou know wiresDeceive me11i is secure for meWires deiceive meThey trip me and I sayDon’t pull wiresIn my house no more!Don’t pull wires In my house no more! –(Sung to the Rush’s ‘Red Barchetta’)My neighbor has an access point, that no one knows aboutHe says it sounds an alarm, when rogue monitors walk aboutAnd on mondays I elude the ‘eyes’ and a new WEP key waitsFar outside the wire, where my wireless client waits.Boot the laptopAnd authenticate to cross the borderlineSurf like the wind,As wireless waves shiver up and down my spineDown in his cube My neighbor preserved for me, an old client —For 10 odd years To keep it as new has been his dearest dreamI strip away dusty film, that hides a new APA brilliant red antenna, from a defunct vendor awaitsI plug it in and press the button, the LEDs light upRF spitting wavelengths, I commit my weekly crime…static in hair —Surfing and Sipping—Internet Music—AP scurge —Suddenly, ahead of me, across the Cube landslideA security guard comes towards me, WCS open wideI spin around with shrieking chair, to run the deadly raceScreaming through the cube alley as another joins the chaseRun like the windStraining the limits of wireless and manLaughing out loudWith fear and hope, I’ve got a desperate planAt the fire door I leave the security strandedDoor side Race back to the cube Where a security guard waits

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