Dear Contact Center Marketing Director,

I’ve been thinking a long time about this and I wanted to write and mention a few annoying things about your contact center. I also have some great suggestions for you on how you can improve your customer service. I’m not saying I have all the answers but as a valued customer I thought you might like to hear from me. I believe these opinions are not just mine, but probably span a large part of your loyal client base.

Let me start with the annoying:

1.  Please stop sending me emails that ask me to review the pair of socks that I bought from you 3 months ago. While the socks are nice I don’t need to let the world know that they comfortably fit my feet and have held up well. If I want to review what I purchased I will go to  your site and enter a review and do not need a reminder.

2.  While you are at it stop sending me marketing emails every 5 hours. I do not want them. I do not need them. I didn’t sign up for them, and I don’t want to have to “unsubscribe” from them. I’m also thinking of eliminating my e-mail account so you won’t be able to reach me there anyway.

3.  Stop sending catalogs in the mail. I’m finally “going green” and don’t want to have to put your pretty pictures in my re-cycle bin. If I want something I will go to your store or website and make a purchase. Update your CRM system with my request, and save a tree and the dollars you are spending.

4.  My Mom (who is still stuck using circa 1995 technology) may need to reach you “gasp” by phone in order to make a purchase or a return. Please provide a number on your website or a way to reach your contact center easily (no – I’m not picking on one particular gigantic on-line only retail giant).

5.  Eliminate IVR Chaos. I don’t want to hear the computerized voice that can’t understand my “Boston accent”. How many times do I have to repeat what I’m saying (sorry Siri – while you may have benefits you have just as many annoyances)? Please provide an option where I can speak with a live person quickly as my flight was just cancelled and I don’t want to wait in the 400 person long line at the gate to be put on a new flight.

Now on to some fantastic items that I have noticed other corporations are implementing that might help improve your customer service and my customer satisfaction.

1.  Please create a smartphone app that I can install. I may be 47, but I have gone mobile and no longer use a desktop computer. I do all my work on my tablet and smartphone. If you create a customer service smartphone application with ease of use, technical tips, and a way to reach an agent when required, I’ll download and install it immediately!

2.  I want to be able to reach you on social media. I promise not to say bad things about my item being damaged in shipment. I just need to speak with someone quickly about getting that replacement shipped before my wife’s birthday or I’ll end up in the doghouse.

3.  Have you thought of putting video in your contact center? I heard that massive on-line only retail giant (mentioned in the section above) has a cool tech support video application I can use – but I haven’t used it because their phone was a failure and I have another big tech giants tablet. Please make it work with a standard technology such as WebRTC and doesn’t require me to download any plug-ins. I hate plug-ins.

4.  Security is very much on my mind. Please make sure whatever new customer service toys you give me to play with are secure and do not crash. I don’t want my accounts getting hacked or credit card information stolen. I want a customer service smartphone application that is safe to use that has been put through the quality assurance ringer.

5.  Make sure you meet with your IT team on a regular basis. You will want them to keep you up to date on the latest and greatest trends in the IOE (that’s the Internet of Everything if you didn’t know already) and contact center technology roadmaps. Things move very fast and I may quickly move on to the next great technology to keep up with my teenager. I want  you to keep up with them also so that I can have the latest and greatest and remain your loyal customer.

Thanks for listening to what I have to say. I know you value my opinion and business. I feel with a little more two-way conversation we can resolve our differences and make some improvements.  It’s a win-win for both of us.

Loyal X. Consumer

Ok, while this post may be a little tongue-in-cheek, I’ve said what a lot of people may be thinking. What are your thoughts? Contact Centers are vital to the corporate customer base and maintaining customer satisfaction. What can your contact center service and marketing team do to improve the quality of service that you provide to your customers? How do you think the IOE will affect your contact center in the future?